[MUSIC] As you think about framing and the mindset for you personal scripts one of the things that is particularly important is not to have heat behind them. Don't get angry, don't let your buttons get pushed. Don't go up in this because If you start to escalate, it will stimulate the same response in somebody else. So your tone really matters. Here's an example. I once, teaching negotiation, videotaped a whole series of lawyers doing the negotiations that our students were going to be asked to do later. So we had some really nice examples of professionals, and some of them were great examples of professionals at the top of their game, and some of them were less wonderful. One of the very best examples involved a negotiation a lot of our students had struggled with, because it involves some confidential information, and it involved a situation where, in many cases, somebody would just flat out say, so what is is your client going to do if I do this? Which is, of course, confidential information that shouldn't be revealed. A number of the students really had a lot of trouble not answering the direct question. And then we had this video tape that had a local lawyer who had done this just lovely job. So he was asked that exact question, the same question so many of our students had been struggling with. And he looked at the other person with a smile on his face, and he said, come on, you know I'm not going to tell you that. Let's just move on. And he said it with a smile, and he said it nicely and the other person sort of said cant blame you for trying and moved right on. If he had said that with a really aggressive tone, if he had said that wit,h what are you doing, don't how dare you? The whole situation could have gone up and instead it was you know. I'm not going to answer that and come on let's keep going and it was just fine and the whole moment passed was a real educational moment for students. And sometimes until you've actually seen other people doing something like that, you don't really have the concept in your head about how it can work. Sort of like me and the parking lot. Genuinely the concept had never entered my mind and once I had the concept it opened up a new way of thinking about it. So this concept of doing it quietly, respectfully, with a very quiet tone. And if you can do it in a charming or nice way. Bonus points to you. So what are some things, some other useful personal script? That's not something I'm going to tell you. Let's move on. Just like the lawyer in the scripted. I'm not comfortable discussing that. Let's agree to disagree for now and go onto another topic. Because I think we might make more progress if we do that. I hear what you're saying and I really could use some time to think about that. I respect how strongly you feel. Let me go back and reflect and see if I can bring another way we can talk about this, perhaps tomorrow. Quiet, respectful and still firm enough that you've drawn the boundary. So these are effective ways to think about your own personal scripts as we move in to actually constructing some. Have this mindset. You want to focus on the other person. You want to be about the larger values and purposes of the organization. Quiet, respectful, polite, pleasant tone. [MUSIC]