2.10 Mind Reading Fantasy

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Do curso por University of Toronto

The Arts and Science of Relationships: Understanding Human Needs

143 classificações

University of Toronto

The Arts and Science of Relationships: Understanding Human Needs

143 classificações

This course provides an introduction to: 1. Basic concepts of The Strategies and Skills Learning and Development System (SSLD), their relevance for every day relationships and provide advanced concepts for participants who work in fields of social work and health care . 2. Basic practice principles and methods of SSLD, illustrated by relationship management case studies. 3. The SSLD framework for relationship management assessment; N3C (needs, circumstances, characteristics, capacity) and problem translation. 4. Core competencies in the relationship management application of the SSLD system: Observation learning, simulation, real life implementation, review and monitoring.

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Module 2 - Getting Started

SSLD conceptualization of relationship: Addressing participants’ needs as key condition of possibility. This module will discuss the social exchange theory, life-scripts, managing differences, and responsive assertiveness

2.6 Natural Imagination4:43

2.7 Game Plan & Human Nature2:52

2.8 "The One" Myth4:31

2.9 How much is up to us?2:29

2.10 Mind Reading Fantasy2:30

Conheça os instrutores

A. Ka Tat Tsang
Founder of the SSLD System; Professor and Factor-Inwentash Chair in Social Work in the Global Community
Factor-Inwentash Faculty of Social Work

Ok, so let's say we take into this idea of being more proactive in our relationships.

If we take this idea into account, maybe you can

give some examples of how else this can be helpful in a relationship?

>> Yeah, one example that I can think of is like when we become like more proactive

and assume more responsibility for our own decision and action

is that we can probably deal with this a very common problem in relationship

especially intimate relationships that I call the “Mind Reading Fantasy".

So what is "Mind Reading Fantasy"?

That you expect your partner to be able to read your mind.

So before you even say something, he or she will be doing this for you.

We do not have to say something and then like he or she should be able to like understand

almost intuitively and then like take care of the situation of your needs.

When you think differently, right,

then you will not be blaming someone for like how can you not know that

I don't want this, right? How can you not know that this is what I prefer.

Instead of saying that, you like taking responsibility, if I want something,

if I prefer something,

do I not have a responsibility to communicate to this person?

Maybe you don't really like the aesthetics of like explicit, direct

concrete communication, but you can still try like can I not, like, write a poem,

right? [LAUGH] Draw a painting or whatever.

Like I want to communicate and help this person understand.

And I would not just like sit there or sit here and assume and

expect this person to automatically read my mind.

So I would say that isn't in our example, you know.

Like if you more proactive,

you don't fall into the trap of this “Mind Reading Fantasy”.

>> So maybe next time I'll paint a picture of a slice of pizza for

my partner and in that way, I can kind of mark explicitly show him what I want,

without having to guess.

>> Okay. >> [LAUGH]

>> [LAUGH] All right, thats a good example

like, and I believe the two of you can probably like keep on doing

that and come up like even more creative ideas. That would be wonderful, yeah.

>> I'll let you back to the gallery opening.

>> Okay, [LAUGH] >> [LAUGH]

>> Yeah.

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