Hello, again.

In this video, I will show you two different example slides for

deliverable four, Core Story, Customer Meets Product.

I'll also walk you through the feedback process, so

you can help your peers improve their work with a final capstone portfolio.

We have two examples of what you can do for this deliverable.

Let's take a look at Example One.

Our first job as a reviewer is to affirm whether the learner uploaded a slide

with an image and whether they explained the core story in the notes section.

And here, we can see they did both.

Next, I'll read the core story to make sure I understand it.

Why don't you read along with me?

Rosita gets up without looking in the mirror and makes coffee.

She calls for Graciella to hurry, they both have appointments and

Wanda's Boutique and Spa.

Rosita can't believe that today is Graciella's Quinceanera.

It seems like just yesterday she was going to Wanda's with her mother

and her grandmother.

There she inhaled deeply, the warm scent of Youth Essence blew through her senses.

Making her feel as comforted as a hug.

In the boutique, she gasps in happy surprise.

Youth Essence is on the shelf.

She's skeptical that it's the real thing,

because she was told that it would never happen.

She opens the lid.

As if breathing a fine wine, she holds the scent inside.

Tasting the delicious air of hope.

With that thought, Rosita applies the essence to her face.

Her skin feels as if it just drank a cool glass of water on a hot day.

She looks in the mirror and smiles back at the refreshed version of herself.

She picks up two bottles and heads to the register.

The next day, Rosita and

Graciella applied the Youth Essence as if it were their Quinceaneras all over again.

I like this.

It's very vivid and it uses all the senses.

That was really interesting.

Now, let's look at the image.

I think it's a good match for the story, especially based on what I already

know about the many generations of women who have enjoyed Wanda's Youth Essences.

But it doesn't really express the sights and smells, and

feeling that the story does as well as it expresses the mother daughter aspect,

but maybe that's too much to expect of one picture.

Now, let's take a look at Example Two.

First, we need to affirm whether the learner uploaded a slide with an image and

whether they explained the core story in the notes section and

we can see they did both.

Then I'll read the core story to make sure I understand.

Why don't you read along with me?

Rosita and Graciella are mother and daughter.

Rosita is 36 and Graciella is 16.

They live outside Mexico City.

Rosita has been a wife and mother her whole life.

Really?

Her whole life?

That's not quite accurate.

Although she has no regrets, she wants her daughter to also have a career.

This seems likely as Rosita loves children and Sunday dinners with family,

as much as she loves school and being with her friends.

I thought Rosita was the mother.

That's a little confusing.

At her Quinceanera, Rosita's mother,

now I'm confused as to whose Quinceanera we're talking about.

Anyway, Rosita's mother let her wear makeup for the first time and

use Wanda's Youth Essence.

She felt so special on that day and she wanted the same for her daughter,

Graciella.

Both women consider Youth Essence,

as a luxury product that can make you feel like a princess everyday.

Well, this is quite different from the first one, isn't it?

It's not as descriptive about the experience of using Youth Essence,

but this one instead focuses more on the generational story.

The is some confusion with the use of pronouns she and her,

especially since there are two women that are being discussed.

So, I think I'll give some feedback later on about how to improve that.

Now, let's look at the image.

This one focuses on the daughter, Graciella.

It works, because much of the mother's focus during the story is on her daughter.

What she wants for her daughter.

But interestingly, I think the picture from the first example might have worked

better here, because this story emphasizes the generational aspect so much more.

I think it would be nice to see a picture of a mother and

daughter together and this works too, of course.

Because of the focus on the daughter, but this is just my opinion.

Now that I have read and considered the deliverables,

I'll need to complete the rubric.

Let's start with the yes, no questions.

The rubric asks, did they create a core story?

And did the learner create a slide?

Yes and yes from both.

While I conclude the yes, no questions, I need to get some feedback.

Things I like, things that the learner does wrong and also constructive criticism

to help the learner improve his deliverable for the final portfolio.

So, for feedback.

For example one, I mentioned may appreciation for

the writing style and how creative it was.

I also recommended a grammatical fix.

Rosita and Graciella is a plural subject and

requires a plural verb and I gave them a correction.

How they can best correct it.

For example two, I'll be sure to address the confusion between the two names and

the use of she and her.

I'll also point out the error in the use of whole life and

offer a suggestion that would be more precise.

Finally, I'll mention that the image could be improved by showing a mother daughter

picture to emphasize the multi-generational focus.

Maybe even a three generation picture of grandmother, mother and

daughter who knows, but it's just an opinion.

An optional part of this deliverable is to record a video or

audio presentation of the content.

If the learner's done that, then you should include feedback on that portion

of your comments as well and there you have it.

Two examples of what you can do for deliverable four and

a model of the kind of feedback you can give to others.

Good luck and remember, helpful feedback is priceless.

Example Submission and Feedback (D4)

总计划案 Final Project

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